i mentioned, in chapter 1, that i suffer from seasonal depression. or rather, i diagnosed myself with seasonal depression as a way to explain just how terrible i feltall winter. the great thing about seasonal depression is that the cure is so simple: wait for the weather to get better.
now it's june. the weather is better but i still feel terrible. i need to adjust my diagnoses. i'll have to look online at the symptoms of different physiological disorders and figure out which one best applies to me. i'm not sure why this is important. important to me. maybe it'll help my relationships. like when my friends, family and co-workers are like, "what's you're problem?" i can answer, "i suffer from this disorder which is why i'm so aloof and dont like to leave my house." wait. i want to workshop this.
--what's your problem? why do you always seem down? why dont you ever want to go anywhere or do anything?
--because i suffer from [whatever disorder i decide best matches my own conception of my symptoms which are obviously exaggerated].
--oh. did a doctor diagnose you with that?
--do i count as a doctor?
--do you have a phd?
--no.
--then no, you dont count as a doctor.
--but dont you think phds are bullshit.
--no. why would i think that?
--because medical schools are bullshit.
--but dont you think that doctors know a little more than you do about health and how the body works and how to help medical problems?
--i think they're more like salespeople for pharmaceutical companies.
this isn't going to work. i'm just going to sound like a paranoid hypochondriac. i guess i'll just say i have a cold.
4 comments:
i havent ruled out you having a seasonal disorder. like maybe you need it to be spring all the time. but what do i know i think i am diabetic with toxic shock syndrome (TSS)(maybe).
have you considered pregnancy? that's pretty easy to diagnose yourself with. i do it all the time.
it never occurred to me that i might be pregnant. what are the symptoms?
Well, i couldn't say for sure but with what you're describing it sounds pretty likely. Lucky for you no one stays pregnant forever.
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