chapter 1: sorry i'm late, some bikers tried to steal my jacket

how do you start a book in the middle of a snow storm? write about the snow storm?

it's a whiteout. is that what you call a blizzard? i was under the impression that a whiteout had something to do with cocaine. i try sniffing a snowflake. it's cold and wet. it doesn't get me high.

it's been snowing non-stop for months. that's not true. i'm prone to exaggeration when it's this cold and snowy. but it has been a miserable winter. i say that about every winter and i mean it when i say it every winter, but this winter is the worst. or feels like the worst. probably because i'm in the middle of it.

my name is brian. i suffer from seasonal affective depression. or disorder. i don't know. i'm self-diagnosed. i self-diagnose myself with all sorts of disorders because it's the only medical attention i can afford. i'm uninsured.

i wake up every morning and it's dark. i walk to the bus stop and it's still dark. i get out of work and it's dark again. i walk home in the dark. i forgot to mention that's it's cold. it's cold. so cold and i refuse to buy a winter coat. i actually don't refuse, it's a combination of not wanting to do anything in the winter and never finding a coat that i don't think looks stupid. so i just layer: a sweatshirt, a hooded sweatshirt and a jacket. it works ok, but i look like an idiot taking off or putting on all these layers. i'd probably look like a bigger idiot if i had some ugly-ass winter coat.